Father I want to behold You

But the waves are too high.

And scary. And uncertain.

I remember what it was like to

Walk

On

Water.

But I don’t feel steady now. 

I know You are near—I know that.

But this side of a wave is the hardest.

I want to know You

But this desert is so dry. 

And lonely. And uncomfortable.

I remember what is was like to 

Have

Nourishment

In the

Wilderness.

But I’m fainting now.

I know You are near—I know that.

But I’m looking at nothing but a wasteland.

I want to fix my eyes on You

But the rain—it’s so heavy. So loud.

I remember what it was like to

See

You

Clearly.

But I’m… I’m just here.

I know You are near—I know that.

But this river will sweep me away.

And then You bring me this:

“How lovely is your dwelling place,

    O Lord of hosts!

2 My soul longs, yes, faints

    for the courts of the Lord;

my heart and flesh sing for joy

    to the living God.

3 Even the sparrow finds a home,

    and the swallow a nest for herself,

    where she may lay her young,

at your altars, O Lord of hosts,

    my King and my God.

4 Blessed are those who dwell in your house,

    ever singing your praise! 

5 Blessed are those whose strength is in you,

    in whose heart are the highways to Zion. 

6 As they go through the Valley of Baca

    they make it a place of springs;

    the early rain also covers it with pools.

7 They go from strength to strength;

    each one appears before God in Zion.

8 O Lord God of hosts, hear my prayer;

    give ear, O God of Jacob! Selah

9 Behold our shield, O God;

    look on the face of your anointed!

10 For a day in your courts is better

    than a thousand elsewhere.

I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God

    than dwell in the tents of wickedness.

11 For the Lord God is a sun and shield;

    the Lord bestows favor and honor.

No good thing does he withhold

    from those who walk uprightly.

12 O Lord of hosts,

    blessed is the one who trusts in you!” (Psalm 84)

Father, remind me of Truth.  I may not feel transformed or united with You—but that is not what Your Word says. I may be fearful of the waves. The wilderness may seem too harsh for me. The rain appears relentless.

But You are my shield, my sun, my Lord, my King—the Living God. Tether me, I beg You, to behold You with every breath and thought and motion You have graciously given me. 

Amen.